Yes, answer to prayer. To be more precise, I didn't know that my prayers were being answered.
In a really unbelievable, mystical thing that was going on when I was an atheist, God showed me that my prayers, had been answered.
Let me explain. The saying, "there are no atheists in foxholes" was very true for me. Whenever I felt that I was in danger, I reached out to God. And considering my lifestyle, that was very frequently. But, I was never very grateful when I found myself safe and sound. I attributed that to my quick thinking or to luck. But not to my prayer. Nor to God's grace.
One of the strange things about me, is that, although I considered myself an atheist, I frequently found myself talking to someone in whom I professed not to believe. I don't know if that is common amongst atheists. But, whenever I was drunk and alone, which was a great deal of the time, I spent much of my time complaining to someone who wasn't there. Someone whom I would attribute as the cause of all my troubles and whom I apparently believed had the power to change my circumstances. Then I would ridicule myself for talking to myself. And then I would do it again.
Strange, huh?
Here's one prayer that will always stand out in my mind. When I was very much an atheist, in college, and I first set eyes on the woman whom I would one day marry. The following prayer escaped my lips before I could think about it. I said, "God, if you give me that woman for my wife, I will go to Church every Sunday."
Well, I went down to introduce myself, she completely ignored me and I said, "That's what I get for praying." But the next day, she was in my first class. And then in another. And then we met. And then we became friends. And then, we got married. I had forgotten all about my prayer, though. But God reminded me, when the time was right.
And that brings us to the point of why I came back to the Catholic Church. We'll start on that, next time.
In a really unbelievable, mystical thing that was going on when I was an atheist, God showed me that my prayers, had been answered.
Let me explain. The saying, "there are no atheists in foxholes" was very true for me. Whenever I felt that I was in danger, I reached out to God. And considering my lifestyle, that was very frequently. But, I was never very grateful when I found myself safe and sound. I attributed that to my quick thinking or to luck. But not to my prayer. Nor to God's grace.
One of the strange things about me, is that, although I considered myself an atheist, I frequently found myself talking to someone in whom I professed not to believe. I don't know if that is common amongst atheists. But, whenever I was drunk and alone, which was a great deal of the time, I spent much of my time complaining to someone who wasn't there. Someone whom I would attribute as the cause of all my troubles and whom I apparently believed had the power to change my circumstances. Then I would ridicule myself for talking to myself. And then I would do it again.
Strange, huh?
Here's one prayer that will always stand out in my mind. When I was very much an atheist, in college, and I first set eyes on the woman whom I would one day marry. The following prayer escaped my lips before I could think about it. I said, "God, if you give me that woman for my wife, I will go to Church every Sunday."
Well, I went down to introduce myself, she completely ignored me and I said, "That's what I get for praying." But the next day, she was in my first class. And then in another. And then we met. And then we became friends. And then, we got married. I had forgotten all about my prayer, though. But God reminded me, when the time was right.
And that brings us to the point of why I came back to the Catholic Church. We'll start on that, next time.
De Maria
ReplyDeleteYou wrote: "One of the strange things about me, is that, although I considered myself an atheist, I frequently found myself talking to someone in whom I professed not to believe. I don't know if that is common amongst atheists.:
I saw this CONSTANTLY while working in the health care industry for 19 years. Elderly people on their deathbed who claimed to be atheist: middle-age individuals getting ready for surgery: victims of trauma brought in to the emergency room screaming "God help me!" only to tell you they didn't believe in God once they were healed and released from the hospital; and on and on and on.
I honestly think that "atheism" is more of a fashion statement than an actual belief system, at least that is my experience with it.
God Bless