Alternatives to Toilet Paper

Hi, well, this is a departure from my usual theme.  But I thought this might be helpful for those of you who might be suffering through some of the unexpected consequences of the #Coronavirus pandemic.

Well, at least, I was caught by surprise.  Yesterday, I went shopping.  Something I rarely do, my wife takes care of that for the family.  Well, I went to one store, and they were apparently allowing people in the store one at a time.  A long line was forming.

I went to another store to look for a small bottle of hand sanitizer to replace the one I normally carry in the car.  And the store was cleaned out of hand sanitizer in every size.  At that point, I decided I'd leave the shopping to my wife.

So, I went home.  I turned on YouTube and saw several videos about toilet paper.  How it had now become a valuable, sought after commodity which was in high demand because of its short supply?  What?  Really?  Apparenly, China makes our toilet paper too?  Does China make everything?  I thought they only made cars and electronic equipment.

Anyway,  I went to wondering what I would do if toilet paper ran out in the entire US.

Well, my regular job takes me to out of the way places where my co-workers and I frequently run out of toilet paper.  We've had to get creative in order to achieve our toilet hygiene.  But I won't go into all of those, just the ones that are more realistic in a household, family situation.

a.  Baby wipes.  They work really well as adult wipes, also.  And, there is also a category called flushable wipes.  I normally don't flush them, though.  I'm afraid to clog up the toilet.

b.  Nasal tissue.  Yes, they wipe up boogers.  Then can also wipe up doodoo.  Just make sure you have a couple of them so that your fingers don't break through and get stained.

c.  Paper towels.  As you can see from the opening cartoon image.  That's a frequently used alternative.  I wouldn't flush them, though.  Just make sure to empty your garbage can, very frequently.

d.  If you're really desperate, newspaper.  This is what we used to use when I was young.  We lived in a barrio and the apartments had no toilets.  We had to go to the alley where there was a row of public toilets with squares of newspaper conveniently provided by the landlord, for those who had forgotten their toilet paper.  Ugh.

e.  Bidets.  Never heard of them?  These are the things that actually wash your hiney.  I understand they're not too popular in the US.   We don't have them.  But I googled "alternatives to toilet paper" and handheld bidets came up.  Here's a video.

Just from looking at that thing, I think you could save money by putting water in a spray bottle and using that as a temporary measure.

f.  Here's a list of other alternatives which I found on Google.

Well, here are some alternatives in case you really have to go.
Paper - If you're in a pinch, paper is an option. ...
Bidet - You've probably heard of these before. ...
Sponge - Hey, it was popular in the days of Ancient Rome. ...
Rags - Old rags are best. ...
Cotton balls.
Receipts - especially the ones that you would rather forget.


As you know, I normally don't write about things like this.  I hope it was helpful and that you enjoyed it.  And, if you have any other suggestions, share them in the comments.

 May God bless you and keep you and your loved ones healthy.

Sincerely,

De Maria